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narnianspoonful

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(no subject) [Aug. 13th, 2004|11:48 am]
narnianspoonful
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NEW THINGS [Aug. 11th, 2004|11:16 pm]
narnianspoonful
First of all I got a badass new wallet today. It looks sort of like this one:

Except the blue on the outside is slightly darker and the inside is BRIGHT YELLOW. All leather. I was quite pleased to find it, my old wallet is beginnning to suck. Well actually it's well into sucking. I need to modify it somehow to have a place for photo IDs. Anyway.

I got a pattern for a jacket/pants thing in the mail. It's quite large and enormous but it's also very very clear. I'm trying to figure out how I can modify the construction process to better accomodate a greater degree of tailoring than only stopping to check where the shoulder pads should be. I'm going to have to modify the pattern anyway to make it a long, so I may as well do some extra work. The pattern is incredibly complicated but it pretty much has one or two examples of everything it is hard to do with fabric and thread so if I can get through it, I'll be in good shape.

I've been cooking a lot. I made oeuf a'la neige, which is what the Cheese Niggers call floating island. I made bread. That's my new thing to do regularly I think. It's easy as hell and incredibly delicious but I just can't get it to rise enough! I'll consult Joy later. What I've done twice so far is create bread that is about 70-80% of how high I want it to be (and was before I put it in the oven, it actually shrank dubya tee eff). I should maybe use more water (steam). I put a lot of black pepper in this loaf, which is nice. I was talking to Alexis and I had a great idea of how I could use the pepper bread to make savory french toast ("none of this syrup bullshit").



I also had a great idea for making Massachusetts Apple Brandy (artisinal high quality bullshit in an awesome bottle for lots of money). Massachusetts needs a regional alcohol - they have rye and various sorts of bourbon down south, and I don't see why our puritan past should hold us back. I mean christ, they make Calvados in Normandy, why can't we just do exactly that except with our apples (we have awesome apples, and lots of different sorts. I am convinced the best apple cider in the world is that pressed and sold in Bolton).


I also had a great idea where you do the whole worshipping the soul of the wood buddy buddy profound woodshop bullshit and then covering the whole fucking thing in a big splattery jiz like layer of white paint, thinned out in enough places to show everyone that you're using a really beautiful material. Beautiful things, at least "designed" beautiful things have become to me intolerably ugly. I saw 3 bluebirds in a piece of shrubbery today, they let me get close enough to them to say with some certaintly that they're more beautiful, and more easily beautiful than any chair ever. So, my only solution is to make things that are, in the designey sense, incredibly beautiful (not hard) and then fuck them up. MDF veneer on solid cherry. Bent nails. Glue seeping out of joints. Crappy old salvation army cabriolet legs bolted to things. The trick to this is, of course, to somehow create something even more beautiful. I guess I'm antisocial. What-fucking-ever.
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(no subject) [Jul. 22nd, 2004|01:40 am]
narnianspoonful
What would be hilarious is when someone is lying in bed alone, right, and it's summer so there's a big pile of downy comforter next to them which they aren't using, and they're facing away from the comforter, and anyway they pretend that they aren't alone and so they turn around to face in the direction of the comforter and as they do so they hope and pray as hard as they can that the comforter isn't a comforter but rather the person they want there but it never is and they pull an armfull of it towards them anyway.



I feel weird, but at least I'm feeling. I must be on the right track. Le Sigh...
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(no subject) [May. 16th, 2004|02:13 pm]
narnianspoonful

AS MANY OF YOU MAY KNOW I AM GENERALLY CONSIDERED TO BE A HAPPY GO LUCKY GUY WHO RARELY SUFFERS ENORMOUS AND EMBARASSING NERVOUS BREAKDOWNS AND FOR THIS I AM SORRY BECAUSE THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW. ANGEL BEALE IF YOU'RE OUT THERE I'M SORRY I DIDN'T CLEAN UP EVERY LAST CHIP FROM THE LATHE, I WAS UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT THE NOTE I LEFT SAYING I'D BE BACK WHEN THE SHOPS REOPENED WOULD MAKE THINGS CLEAR TO YOU THAT I WOULD IN FACT BE BACK WHEN SHOPS REOPENED TO FINISH MY WORK AND CLEAN UP MY SPACE. I AM LESS THAN PLEASED THAT YOU PULLED THIS SHIT THE DAY BEFORE MY FINAL PROJECT IS DUE BUT I ADMIT THAT I AM IN THE WRONG. GIVE ME A CALL SOMETIME, MY NUMBER IS 617.308.2790, MAYBE WE CAN WORK SOMETHING OUT WHERE YOU UNLOCK YOUR LOCKER (THE ONE WITH THE NICE PICTURE THAT I DREW OF YOU AS AN ANGEL!) AND LET ME HAVE MY WORK BACK!! KTHX. ALEXIS, I HATE TO BE A RETARDED BURDEN BUT I WOULD LIKE TO NOW CASH IN A LARGE STACK OF MY FRIENDSHIP CHIPS BECAUSE THERE NOTHING IS GOING MY WAY RIGHT NOW AND IF SOMEONE DOESN'T CALL ME AND MAKE ME HOLD A PHONE IN MY HAND I AM GOING TO GNAW MY FINGERS OFF ONE BY ONE AND THEN WE'LL ALL LOOK STUPID. I WOULD CALL YOU BUT YOU DON'T SEEM TO BE PICKING YOUR PHONE UP! HOW ABOUT THAT. TO SWEETEN THE PACKAGE, I PROMISE TO BE BRIEF AND NOT DWELL ON MY 'METAL ISSUES'. ALSO, WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE EXPECTED TO WEAR IN THIS WEATHER?? SHOULD I PUT ON A TSHIRT AND CARRY AN UMBRELLA??

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Black person [May. 16th, 2004|11:39 am]
narnianspoonful
black
Hello, my name is Robert. I listen to the Cure, the Smiths and Depeche Mode.


korean
Hello, my name is Steve. I like to paint.
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(no subject) [May. 15th, 2004|09:53 pm]
narnianspoonful
perseus
watercolor
machines
torso
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(no subject) [May. 15th, 2004|09:24 pm]
narnianspoonful
Hundreds of gay marriage opponents, rallying Friday in historic Faneuil Hall, booed when they learned of the Supreme Court's decision.

Speakers railed against what they called "sexual sin" and warned that gay marriage could have negative effects on families.

"The problem is they're being told that their sin is wonderful and fine," said Sandy Rios, former president of Concerned Women for America, a conservative public policy organization. "May 17, two days from now, will be a day that will change the world."


OooooOOOoooHHhh fuck what are they thinking? Come on supreme court. This is going to fuck everything up. I heard that they sodomized each other for sex! They are insatiable sodomy villains. For breakfast they have sodomy and coffee. Everything they touch turns gay. Dark toast gets paler. Tomato soup gets more tomatoey. Paintbrushes get cleaner. A big jar of peanut M&M's becomes a big jar of only yellow peanut M&M's. Split ends are joined as one, and with a single glance at considerable distance a single gay can make a cold toilet seat warm.

They ride the subway, and the doors close smoothly. They ride the trolly cars which both jingle and jangle with greater amplitude. A stack of twenty dollar bills becomes one third tens and two thirds fives (by volume). Intentionally frayed baseball cap bills become neat and bent conservatively. The oceans start tasting like creme de cassis. The wind travels a little faster, as if there were a sale somewhere. The very core of the earth gets it's act together, starts working out and becomes solid rock. Gravity is hung-over and smells like aqua de gio on Monday mornings.

On our nation's beaches, plain board shorts become floral board shorts, and volleyballs float in the air like beachballs. In our schools, chalk becomes less smudgy and neater, and all male teachers begin wearing tie pins. On our nation's roadways, traffic lights become sarcastic and dividing lines sway from side to side if you play an Erasure song loud enough.

At art schools across the nation, very little changes.
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New Poem [May. 15th, 2004|05:53 pm]
narnianspoonful

You get fed all this bullshit
About how you're going to live forever
But you're not.

You're going to fucking die
Someone's going to fucking stab you to death
That's why you've gotta be ripped
You want to look good when you die.

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(no subject) [May. 15th, 2004|12:44 pm]
narnianspoonful

I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH WORK
THERE'S NOT ENOUGH TIME
I HAVE TOO MUCH WORK
THERE'S TOO MUCH TIME

KICKED OUT OF THE METAL SHOP FOR WEARING OPEN TOED SHOES
FILING ENDLESSLY. WORK SUPPORTED ON CENTERS AND TRIJAW CHUCK.
SANDING ENDLESSLY. WON'T FIT. TOLERANCES. WOOD. UGLY THINGS.
EPOXY, HOT GLUE. SLIDE IDENTIFICATION.

EXHAUSTING WEATHER, WATERMELON. OLD FRIENDS COMING UP, NEW FRIENDS LEAVING.

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(no subject) [May. 15th, 2004|11:51 am]
narnianspoonful
every goddamn day
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